stingy

We're all familiar with the annoyance at being offered pizza and chips, and in actuality being given a slender slice and half a potato. Although in fairness, it's been a while since I've been invited round to someone's house for tea. Not least as with age I have adopted the southern term, "dinner". Anyway, I have recently been re-experiencing this annoyance on an almost daily basis. Yep readers, we're back to ranting about the perils of diets.

I've given up the cheese filled tortellini in favour of the tomato, olive and red pepper ones. One star to me. I think to myself, "well, if I was cooking my own pasta I'd be a little less stingy, but it this fresh pack only takes 2 mins and looks nice. I'll give it a try." In my conscientiousness I check the calorie counter. Well, it means I'll have to replace the hefty helping of sauce for some low-everything reduced-fat all-the-tastiness-taken-out-of-it vinaigrette on salad, but it's just about do-able. And then I see the two words that have come to haunt me: "serving suggestion". I know that what follows will be sheer panic. Usually because it imparts that only a meagre quarter of the pack fills you with enough calories to last a week, or something. I'm sick of it. When am I allowed to enjoy food again? I hope it's soon!

Moon. xxx

PS I have ordered a new camera. Although there's a slight delay with the delivery, it shouldn't be too long it until I'm able to take snaps of unnecessary things and blog about them.

Hollyoaks...

...is a bit samey these days. They're really stretching out the Evil Claire storyline. I just hope that lovely little Tom saves the day by declaring the truth in a dramatic courtroom scene. And I would like that to be on Friday, just to move things along a bit.

On the plus side I quite like that OB. He's like a (normal height) Jamie Cullum with a Northern accent. Lovely.

I hope that when Skins (new drama by same writers as Shameless) starts (tomorrow night), channel 4 will cut down on the number of adverts for it. The hype has been ridiculous. Like Ugly Betty.

If any readers don't know what I'm ranting about, you need to stay in more.

Moon. xxx

dance anthems

It took me a few years to understand, and subsequently appreciate, that dance music is OK. It tends to be good feelgood pop with a strong beat (all in 4/4 time; I don't see what's so difficult about being a DJ. Most tracks are at about the same (fast) speed). I also like the way that the genre hasn't developed one bit in the last 20 years. If it ain't broke... However something I neither understand nor appreciate is hard house or trance (they're pretty much the same I reckon). And there seems to have been a revival of the clubbing-anthems-style CDs being advertised. You know the ones; a chavvy looking stick girl wearing a bikini and dancing around badly; alternating between a mad march and a pole dance. Sometimes they include poor effects. Having the same lass dancing three times on the screen seems a popular option.

Why do I mention this? Because I have never seen people like this out on't toon. And I can't understand why anyone would buy into this culture. Who is buying the CDs? Perhaps (and this is likely) I simply do not frequent the kind of places at night where this strange dancing style and "bang-thump" (hmm) music exists. Perhaps there is something too cool about it for the likes of myself to subscribe to it. I just don't know. But I have never met anyone who is interested in it.

Granted I have seen the stick chavs (and their fat mates) doing the dirty supposedly alluring dancing in many a club. And bar. And street. Even in the day, occasionally. But not in the clubbing attire. I have also seen some larger ladies adorning the fluffy orange boots, wrist straps and bikini top, although they were the pillheads who used to do E dances in Durham Union. The fools. I don't think that either group of people truly count as the Essential Clubber.

So, does this culture actually exist? And does anyone actually like it? If not, which seems highly plausible, why are there so many of these adverts about?

Moon. xxx

By the way...

...I'm going to San Francisco in June. That should be nice. I might make it my mission to eat something tasty from the Calmoon Bakery. Then check out 'Traz. Then bounce a few coloured balls down a hilly suburban street and make my own version of the Sony telly ad. "Colour. Like no other." Will have to replace my camera first. If anyone has any suggestions on what to go for, please send them my way. I was just going to replace my Sony DSC w50 (or go for the newer w70) but I have seen a pretty blue camera. A Canon, I think. If there was an aubergine one there would be no decision about it. It's not essential whether it takes great pictures or not, evidentally.

Moon. xxx

le supermarche

I thought that a slightly optimistic post was in order, seeing as the previous one was mardy.

I am on a diet. I intend to be a waif in a couple of weeks. I have given up alcohol (although I did accidentally have a vodka in my orange the other night. The waiter (at the Olive Tree in Chapel Allerton - very nice, btw) thought he was being nice by pouring me "a large one". Hmmm). Going without the booze is fine, now, although there have been occasional nights where being drunk out of my mind would have made things much more exciting. I have substantially decreased my cheese intake (food of the gods) and have started, heaven forbid, eating salads.

Once you start counting calories you take pleasure in certain things. I have found a large quorn sandwich, which even has a bit of cheese in, containing a mere 340 calories. Now that's good going, considering its size and its cheese value. Quorn is ace. Especially the ham-"like" stuff. I have started seeing fat and sugar contents on ingredients lists before I see the brand name. And on the whole, if its bad for you, I am going off it.

Apart from Creme Eggs. I still want some of those.

The exercise thing is difficult to get round to, though. I've got a lovely purple yoga mat and yoga DVD all ready for me. But no DVD player. Yet. Might get it at the weekend (couldn't be arsed choosing it over Christmas. There were too many people in my way. bastards). And this time of year is hardly the time for outdoor pursuits. Yesterday morning I passed a jogger who did a full 360 (can't find the degrees symbol) on the ice besides me. He looked embarrassed and took a moment to steady himself before stumbling on. I don't wish to partake in that, thankyou very much.

So, remaining optimistic, I have to stick with the healthy eating thing in order to shed those excess pounds. This means going to the supermarket and filling the trolley with delightful salad selections, pointed peppers, shit loads of garlic (to drown the taste of the "good" food) and fruit and cereal bars that contain "just 96 calories" because there is nothing in them. At all. And their shelves are empty because it's still January. By Feb 1st all resolutions will have been broken, I'm sure.

I have been dieting for 11 days. I am not thin yet, but I will be. I will not give up. Unless the creme eggs become just too tempting. When Orange, Barclays and the Post Office all seem to hate you, there are still Creme Eggs. Good ole Eggs. Shit, I want an egg.

And a dog.

But not to eat.

Moon. xxx

I'm blue, la de de la de da...

Seeing as blogs are cool again, I thought I should jump on the bandwagon and post an unsurprisingly arsy rant.

According to Dr. Arnall (see http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1995669,00.html) January 22nd is the most depressing day of the year. This is due (as you may read if you follow the link) to new year's resolutions having been broken, feeling poor since overspending over the festive month, and general feeling cold and miserable. I would like to contest this claim. Jan 23rd is clearly much, much worse.

The day began arsily. Terry Wogan was too much to bear when the alarm went off, so I switched from Radio 2 to spritely Radio 1. Big mistake (= new name for Chris Moyles). When he appeared in a recent TV countdown of the most irritating people of 2006, I sympathised with the man. Today, I agree. He has a cheesy jingle that is played at 7am that has remained in my head all day. Bad start. I was expecting a parcel (smashing new boots) so stayed at home until the post arrived. It was freezing. Mood declined. The post eventually arrived. I received a phone bill that was supposed to show a £50 credit from Orange for a phone that they "bought back" from me. I have been promised this money for 4 months now. Instead, it was a hefty bill, including a £15 charge for a replacement sim card (as previous one was stolen. Incidentally that took about 2 weeks and 4 hours on the phone to orange to sort out. Wankers). And no boots. So, to work. The walk was icy and treacherous. I realised I had forgotten my phone. After a morning of testing I ran home to pick it up, so I could call orange and scream hell at them. I find, on my doorstep, a "sorry you were out" card from the Post Office. I have to say that Leeds is the worst place in the world for arranging a redelivery. No new smashing boots for a good few days for me, now.

The rest of the day was consumed by Barclays Bank who, despite being notified of my stolen card at 8am on January 5th, after 3 phone calls and 2 visits to my local branch, have only today decided to put a message on the "system" to send me a new card. I also still haven't received my Natwest one. How am I supposed to pay for anything, I ask you? Orange were sickening. And the Post Office, worse. All day every day is spent sorting shit out. I am definitely keeping hold of the current bag.

It is also ridiculously cold.

I want a dog.

Moon. xxx

PS At least Shameless is on tonight. Fingers crossed I will be able to stay awake for it, instead of passing out on the sofa, waking up with my head at some bizarre angle as my neck and shoulders have swapped places, with contact lenses itching.

back to basics

So that's that then. Festivities are over. New year's resolutions are (supposedly) now enforced. It's time to get back into the working routine. Anything to look forward to? Well I've noticed a couple of Cadburys Creme Eggs in the shops, but can't have those as have to combat the effects of the xmas pies...

I am evidently finding it difficult remaining optimistic about returning to the working routine. January should clearly bring fresh, exciting starts. It does bring Celebrity BB, a new series of Shameless and sales (thrice times hurrah)! But I have to spend all my money not in the sales, but on replacing a mobile phone (which is, incidentally, irreplacable as it's only available on contract), my beautiful digital camera (expensive) and my limited edition Diesel handbag which had been imported from Beijing (hence is, also, irreplacable) due to a bag-snatching situation that occurred a couple of days ago. Rah.

So it seems that instead of there being hope in new ways, we just have to return to how things were before Christmas got in the way.

I think the personally most thought-provoking issue at this time of year is that I just don't want to go back to work. I know I'm not the only person feeling this way. Perhaps I am aware that this year should be stressful and hectic, seeing as I would like to finish my PhD within the next 10-12 months. This should be exciting and remind me that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that Leeds is not going to be home forever. However then I'll have to decide what to do next. And I'll look for academic posts out of ease and because that's what I've worked towards. But what if I feel like this about that, too?!

Hopefully this downer shall be upturned once the new camera arrives or Shameless begins (Tuesday night btw). But until that time, I could do with some motivation advice to help with the return to the working routine.

Hope all well.

Moon. xxx