up the twitter

This post aims to do 3 things:

(i) Be my first post in ages. Hurrah!
(ii) Slag off social networking (reprise).
(iii) Slag off the need for mums-to-be to regale vile stories of bodily functions.

And the following example combines all three.

Erykah Badu has apparently recently given birth. This should be a reason for celebration for Badu and those close to her. But instead it has become something to gossip over not because of the wonders of bringing a life into the world, no, but because Badu and her partner had twittered throughout the whole process.

Twitter definition:
verb.
to bang on about irritating things via an irritating self-absorbed medium.

Etymology:
a word as ridiculous as the action it describes.

For instance, Badu twittered that she was in labour, then disappeared from the twittering world to have a baby. How dare she? Didn't she know that people would be refreshing their Facebooks to see if a new message had arrived?* Never fear though, Badu's partner, Jay Electronica, twittered the whole way through the birth. Would have been nice if he'd been a little more supportive to Badu, perhaps. He kept their collective >9000 "friends" updated as to waters breaking and how much Badu was dilated. Nice. He also twittered his friend, Just-Blaze, that he "should be here". So should you, Mr Electronica. Get off that bloody internet!

What do you think the wee bairn will be called? Just-Facebook? Yo-Online? Birth-Electronica?

I find it incredibly sad that someone would rather tell "friends" about something happening that enjoy the experience first hand (I guess there's always the argument that Mr Electronica wanted some distance from the proceedings!). It's even worse than going to a gig and watching the whole thing through a camera lens. There's also the concern that people want to create a particular profile of themselves (usually depicting themselves as being dressed up, going out and being "a little bit mental") that they forget how to interact with real people in real social situations at all. This medium should not be encouraged!

Don't even get me started on how people post scan pictures...

Which leads me to a related point: I don't know about you, but I don't really want to know about bodily functions in such detail. When people become pregnant they suddenly deem it appropriate to discuss things that otherwise would be completely off-limits. People keep showing me their bellies, discussing bladders and placentas and much, much worse. The babies must become desensitised to such talk. Think of the effect this must be having on future generations!

Maybe the kids will just think that "birth" is a widget or something.



*I don't know if you need to refresh the page or if messages reach you automatically, because I don't subscribe to such wank.



Disclaimer of awareness of irony:
That bodily functions have been referenced and published to the world at large via a (some may say) irritating medium. But there's only ever about 3 visitors to stroppy blog (including myself) and I'm trying to make a point. OK?!