blah blah

Lots of nothings to report. Just thought I should blog seeing as it's been a while. This is my 109th post!

I have been away teaching at the OU. Bath is a lovely city to work in. Every building is beautiful (now the nasty shopping centre has been demolished - I wish I'd been responsible for that) and so I thoroughly enjoyed mooching about the city in the sunshine. OU students are notoriously odd. They each have a story; some reason as to why they are "unconventional" students. Some are a delight - they are genuinely interested in their subject and they are incredibly motivated. They always applaud at the end of my lectures (as if my ego needs a boost) and they seem impressed by my ebay purchased laser. Some, on the other hand, should not be let out. Let's take the penultimate evening's Desperado Disco, for instance. Each week the students decide that they deserve to let their hair down. And that they do. On week 1 I walked in to view a scrawny man knee-sliding his air-guitared self across the dancefloor, knocking two large women (sporting the season's bright prints) over as he travelled. They all stayed on the floor in hysterics. For too long. Add to this a Bristolian DJ who is (no joke) smaller than I. Not once did he play two songs consecutively. No. Rather, his south-western dulcet tones described how "this next one's for the ladeez". Every time.

By the second week I realised that I had to join them. I had every cocktail on the menu, and it wasn't long before I was throwing myself about like a flipping student. I still have a sore head from where a dance move went wrong and I punched myself.

So it's back to Leeds with a bang. My eyes are very tired from a day of pooter work - the poor things don't fare well with this close up work. In order to enjoy being back I have spruced up the garden.


Tonight I'm planting ginger. And in October I'll plant garlic. Yes, it's all stuff left in my veg basket. The ginger had sprouted a root of its own accord whilst I was away. Hurrah for organic food!





By the way my sunflowers are doing OK.


They're well and over 1m20. Not the tallest, granted, but they're Hortons so that's relatively massive. The pic is not a good one, but it did involve precariously balancing the camera on a windowsill then running to the flowers. This is the only one that had both me and the flowers in the same shot.


Steve hasn't shown himself since I've returned. I hope he's not offended that I had to leave him. Which reminds me - I visited an RSPCA place whilst away. It consolidated the fact that if I don't get a dog sharp-ish, something bad might happen.

By the way, Bristolians have got a functional approach on trains.



Yes - absolutely - change your baby for one that sits upright, you fool.

Moon. xxx

***quality***

Get me - blog bitch.

Whilst perusing ebay for handbags (only for ideas!) I was almost tempted by a particular design, until I read its description:

"This posh and original handbag will convince you through its elegance and its classy design."

Posh? Classy? Someone could do with a thesaurus. Try-hard ebay sellers piss me off. If you need to convince someone that it's quality, then it ain't. "Quality food" sellers are the most concerning. Quality Streets, however, well that's entirely different.

The "ecological leather" bag (cheap? small?) also had a "mobile pocket" - surely the purpose of a bag? but I suppose they mean for a phone; it "offers an optimal usage of the bag's inner area for your most important personal items" as well as being "very pleasant in touch".

I really should be doing something more worthwhile than this.

Moon. xxx

fear

Whenever I walk through the exit sensor gate thingies at the library I almost have palpitations. I hate it. The worst that can happen is that I'll set off an alarm*. And that's usually highly unlikely seeing as I'll have either been unable to find whatever I was looking for, only gone in to browse the less-than-extensive DVD collection or spent an age trying to photocopy an article, fallen out with said photocopier and left empty handed anyway.

I really do get quite inappropriately frightened though.

Alright alright I just wanted to show off that I've been to the library a few times lately. Today I was a bit miffed that someone was looking all cool and intellectual whilst browsing the psychiatry journals. That's my role!

Moon. xxx


*Once I did set the alarm off. Actually it's happened numerous times. But on this particular occasion the gate thingy wouldn't let me through; some security measure I suppose, I continued walking at my usual speed of light and went straight over the barrier, much to my friend's amusement. I was laughing so much I couldn't speak to the librarian to get them to scan my "stolen" DVD. See? This fear is totally irrational. Setting the alarm off would likely be the highlight of my week!

bad ads

I may be reviving an old theme of frankien's here. I proudly present to you my top 3 current adverts.

In at #3: It's the tenuous link that is: L'Oreal Elvive.
"In my home I love the light. So why wouldn't I want the same for my hair colour?"

Because your house is not your hair, you silly moo.


In a highly similar vein at #2: a lazy, lazy link from the ad team at Subway:
(Man walks in to room to hear his new girlfriend loudly proclaiming how they are to get married and have babies...) "There are some things you don't want to see, and some you do..." (cut to picture of carb city Sub).

Lazy, I tell you!


And: this ad assumes nothing. It explains the most complicated of terms, becoming a favourite for scientists and novices alike. Sensodyne ProNamel:

"Dentists tell us that acid erosion is caused by acid in our diets..."

Hey - hence the name! Now I get it.


Moon. xxx

tortoises

Sunflower update time. I am feeling a little more optimistic now. Prof. Willis has peaked already, but mine are still growing strong! They have reached a mighty... (wait for it) 65cm now, and show no signs of stopping.



Just for a sense of scale, Steve kindly posed alongside them. He was chewing grass, but his evil grimace amused me.



Dad's sunflowers have bitten the dust, much to my mum's amusement (and probably handy work). He had called them the tortoises due to their slow start, and predicted inevitable win. Now, in memory of his flowers, mine are adopting the tortoise philosophy.

Moon. xxx

Why cross, zoo?

When I visited Twycross Zoo the other day I felt very guilty for smiling through the windows at the primates.
Teeth baring is, of course, a sign of anger whilst down-turning the mouth is a sign of utter contentment. The poor buggers must hate the public. I went round the zoo seemingly miserable, but bonding with the apes.




Here are some of my favourite new friends.








Yes, the title is poor. But the only other potential blog topics are listed below. I think you'll agree that I opted for the best one.

1) Reasons to hate national rail.
2) A recounted story involving a man on a train who LOUDLY talked on his phone for an hour (in a Glaswegian/Nottingham combo-ed accent) about his upcoming marriage. To a woman he met in Jumping Jacks (they both worked there). Two months ago.
3) Reasons to hate Vodafone.
4) Reasons to appreciate the fleecy goodness of jogging bottoms.
5) The demise of the novelty of flat-decorating.
6) Infuriation at the popular appeal of new celebrity: Katy Hopkins.
7) Reasons not to watch Big Brother.
8) Sadness over the lack of good telly these days.
9) Evidence of my premature aging (see #9)
10) Reasons to be bitter about my sunflower (un)success.



Moon. xxx