Please resist making the obvious comment...
...but crabs are everywhere.
I am sick of being frightened by crustaceans. They're on adverts every day. I heard on the radio this morning that Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall cooked a dish from "things found under rocks" (we all know what they would be) and I've just spied someone using a "comic" crab microphone on E4. Hideous. And eeevill. Why would such a vile creature be so popular? That Heineken ad with the lobster (you remember, "executed like a true continental") with plain wrong. No one would have bought Heineken after that. It should be boycotted purely for crustacean use, "flip-flapping all over 'er face". Makes me mad. And don't even get me started with that pathetic animated Capital One crab. What's in your wallet? A crustacean, probably.
I am sick of being frightened by crustaceans. They're on adverts every day. I heard on the radio this morning that Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall cooked a dish from "things found under rocks" (we all know what they would be) and I've just spied someone using a "comic" crab microphone on E4. Hideous. And eeevill. Why would such a vile creature be so popular? That Heineken ad with the lobster (you remember, "executed like a true continental") with plain wrong. No one would have bought Heineken after that. It should be boycotted purely for crustacean use, "flip-flapping all over 'er face". Makes me mad. And don't even get me started with that pathetic animated Capital One crab. What's in your wallet? A crustacean, probably.
posted by Moon @ 10:20 pm
8 Comments:
At 5:29 pm,
Moon said…
Crab watch: this weekend I found a "rockpool life" pamphlet wedged in the train seat I was unfortunate enough to be positioned in (conspiracy) AND another crab on an ad. I can't remember which one. That's repression at work.
At 1:53 pm,
frankien said…
Urgh, in describing your own phobia you used a word I cant hear!!!!
At 2:17 pm,
Moon said…
Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall?!
Ah now, that's 3.
At 2:17 pm,
Moon said…
Correction: 2. I can't count.
At 4:16 pm,
frankien said…
No, the p word that means leaflet. eugh.
At 10:17 pm,
Moon said…
My apologies - mini-brochure ;)
At 9:59 pm,
Rach said…
Don't ever go to Cornwall then - is crustacean heaven (or hell, depending on your view point). They had an aquarium with Crabs of varying shapes and sizes, none smaller than my head; crabs and molluscs and unidentifiables on sale in delis and quay-side stalls everywhere you walk (to skewer with a cocktail stick from a little plastic pot); crab samwedges on every menu; and there is even a lobster place, where you can adopt a lobster. Why?
At 10:45 am,
Moon said…
Why? indeed. Not a suitable pet for many reasons. Not least because crustaceans are nightmare fodder. I find it a bit hypocritical that you can adopt a lobster in one place, then eat one nextdoor. I'll cross Cornwall off the potential holiday list - thanks for the tip off.
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