TOG blog
After reading Prof. 'Bola's blog recently, I felt that I should create my own TOG blog, even if the theme is a little recurring. I feel like the author of one of those awful "you know you're over 25 when..." email forwards, although slightly less witty.
My story begins with a little background information, then leads nicely into a rant about trains. Deja-vu, did you say?
Are you sitting comfortably?
I was away for Bank Holiday weekend, but had to return because I had "jobs" to do. Like buying some "bits" from town. I don't know when this over general language entered the lexicon, but it's only recently that peers have started to understand it. "Jobs" are never exciting, as they involve food shopping and windolening mirrors (not windows - that would take ages). I spent about an hour the other day trying to get the shine back from my grillpan. To no avail, I might add.
What a loser. And what makes it really sad? I blog about it. I may as well give up now and write an awful limerick for Wogan and his crew.
So...
I was making a usual journey with GNER on Saturday, using the Leeds-London service. Despite my train rants, it's usually bearable. I'm pretty conversant with the trainline and I have no major qualms with it (I even have a favourite "service manager" now. I can't remember his name but he pronounces GNER as "G-ner", which tickles me). However Saturday's journey was outrageous. For a start they were doing line maintenance, which they often do at weekends, but this was the busiest weekend of the year. This meant the London train terminated at Doncaster (not quite London). Then they didn't put any extra trains or carriages on to replace the missing service. Everyone had loads of extra luggage. We all crowded onto a connecting service. We literally couldn't get onto the train at times due to overcrowding, but we all had to get somewhere, so weren't keen to compromise our place. One poor man was busy trying to get his luggage on but couldn't get out to rescue the rest of it. The doors shut on him, leaving him sweating excessively as he wouldn't be able to return in time before missing his flight home from Heathrow. And we all know what happens to luggage left unattended on a train platform. Boom. Especially when left by an Arab. Poor man. I tried to help him by calming him and finding a guard, but we couldn't move. Add to this smelly and stressful concoction a rough cockney woman, her two daughters and two lovely dogs, which were being trodden on. I was so sorry for the animals. It's exhausting being responsible for the world.
Meanwhile sweaty Arab man is looking marginally more calm, as I convince him that I'll find a guard once we reach Retford, who can hopefully convince Doncaster staff not to blow up his belongings. And perhaps even get them to him. Upon arrival I heroically find said train guard (John Bailey, I believe) and request his assistance. He politely tells me it's nothing to do with him. He's more concerned with getting the train off so he can return to his post of arse-sitting. He shuns me off. I try to find the man so I can calm him one last time, and wish him well. But no, the train doors are a-closing and people are running around madly. John Bailey hadn't waited until everyone was away from the train, had he. Train pulls off. Next thing I know, there's a woman lying on the platform, quite still. She had been trapped in the doors whilst trying to retrieve her luggage. She was unsuccessful. Arab man's luggage is in Donnie Donnie Donnie Donnie (ahhh) whilst he's on the train, and poor still woman's is on the train, yet she's immobile on the platform. I call an ambulance. John Bailey takes no interest. Eventually paramedics arrive and things aren't too bad.
I apologise for the lengthy rant, but I am truly outraged with GNER! It is not merely my early-onset TOG-dom than brings out my ability to complain about public transport. I will keep you posted with the complaints process. I predict it will involve firstly receiving an automated reply along the lines of "we will deal with your query if and when we can be arsed", followed by a more personal communication along the lines of "not my fault. Don't care. Not going to apologise as would seem like we're at fault...". Ah, God bless* the large scale corporation. I only hope that things will improve once National Express take over the route.
Bonjour,
Moon. xxx
*Incidentally, seeing as I've mentioned the big G himself, feel free to click on the new addition to stroppy blog: the red A, for my feelings on God.
My story begins with a little background information, then leads nicely into a rant about trains. Deja-vu, did you say?
Are you sitting comfortably?
I was away for Bank Holiday weekend, but had to return because I had "jobs" to do. Like buying some "bits" from town. I don't know when this over general language entered the lexicon, but it's only recently that peers have started to understand it. "Jobs" are never exciting, as they involve food shopping and windolening mirrors (not windows - that would take ages). I spent about an hour the other day trying to get the shine back from my grillpan. To no avail, I might add.
What a loser. And what makes it really sad? I blog about it. I may as well give up now and write an awful limerick for Wogan and his crew.
So...
I was making a usual journey with GNER on Saturday, using the Leeds-London service. Despite my train rants, it's usually bearable. I'm pretty conversant with the trainline and I have no major qualms with it (I even have a favourite "service manager" now. I can't remember his name but he pronounces GNER as "G-ner", which tickles me). However Saturday's journey was outrageous. For a start they were doing line maintenance, which they often do at weekends, but this was the busiest weekend of the year. This meant the London train terminated at Doncaster (not quite London). Then they didn't put any extra trains or carriages on to replace the missing service. Everyone had loads of extra luggage. We all crowded onto a connecting service. We literally couldn't get onto the train at times due to overcrowding, but we all had to get somewhere, so weren't keen to compromise our place. One poor man was busy trying to get his luggage on but couldn't get out to rescue the rest of it. The doors shut on him, leaving him sweating excessively as he wouldn't be able to return in time before missing his flight home from Heathrow. And we all know what happens to luggage left unattended on a train platform. Boom. Especially when left by an Arab. Poor man. I tried to help him by calming him and finding a guard, but we couldn't move. Add to this smelly and stressful concoction a rough cockney woman, her two daughters and two lovely dogs, which were being trodden on. I was so sorry for the animals. It's exhausting being responsible for the world.
Meanwhile sweaty Arab man is looking marginally more calm, as I convince him that I'll find a guard once we reach Retford, who can hopefully convince Doncaster staff not to blow up his belongings. And perhaps even get them to him. Upon arrival I heroically find said train guard (John Bailey, I believe) and request his assistance. He politely tells me it's nothing to do with him. He's more concerned with getting the train off so he can return to his post of arse-sitting. He shuns me off. I try to find the man so I can calm him one last time, and wish him well. But no, the train doors are a-closing and people are running around madly. John Bailey hadn't waited until everyone was away from the train, had he. Train pulls off. Next thing I know, there's a woman lying on the platform, quite still. She had been trapped in the doors whilst trying to retrieve her luggage. She was unsuccessful. Arab man's luggage is in Donnie Donnie Donnie Donnie (ahhh) whilst he's on the train, and poor still woman's is on the train, yet she's immobile on the platform. I call an ambulance. John Bailey takes no interest. Eventually paramedics arrive and things aren't too bad.
I apologise for the lengthy rant, but I am truly outraged with GNER! It is not merely my early-onset TOG-dom than brings out my ability to complain about public transport. I will keep you posted with the complaints process. I predict it will involve firstly receiving an automated reply along the lines of "we will deal with your query if and when we can be arsed", followed by a more personal communication along the lines of "not my fault. Don't care. Not going to apologise as would seem like we're at fault...". Ah, God bless* the large scale corporation. I only hope that things will improve once National Express take over the route.
Bonjour,
Moon. xxx
*Incidentally, seeing as I've mentioned the big G himself, feel free to click on the new addition to stroppy blog: the red A, for my feelings on God.
posted by Moon @ 4:06 pm
2 Comments:
At 11:49 am,
frankien said…
Wow, that really is a bit of a story. surely they could see that someone was still putting his luggage on the train? they are meant to check before the doors go. imbeciles. btw, no point writing to gner, you should be writing to Nicky Campbell at watchdog. and name the guard too. being grilled (shouted at) by nicky campbell is at least a nearly reasonable punishment for his behaviour.
At 11:22 am,
Moon said…
That's a good idea actually. I'm determined to take the complaints process seriously. Still no word from GNER themselves, so fingers crossed they're taking it seriously, too. I'll Watchdog it if needs be.
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