This weekend I've been marvelling at...
... the lack of public transport in Lincolnshire.
As I was busy cat sitting this weekend, I decided to venture on a bus journey to the far away land of Lincoln. From the online timetables it would involve catching a couple of buses, which would take just under two hours (Lincoln is about 14 miles away). A small price to pay for some fresh air away from Glentham town.
So at the designated time (actually a good few minutes in advance) I set off in search of the local bus stop. I could think of a couple of likely candidate locations: the village hall, the pub... alas, no bus sign was to be seen. I asked a couple of locals, who were prettying up their gardens, for advice on buses. "Never seen a bus round 'ere", came the reply. Come to think of it, neither had I. I lingered around for a good twenty minutes then became frustrated (pretty angry actually) and returned home. There was no point in trying to call Traveline from my mobile: the Shire is the reception, as well as the transport and general merriment, abyss.
Several phone calls later (involving being given the number to some very strange Spanish holiday resort*) it transpired that the bus timetable was, in fact, a lie. No buses go through Glentham Town. After phoning Call Connect for the second time it was explained to me that in order for the minibus to pick you up, you have to phone up about a week in advance to see if the driver can fit you in to their schedule. Not because of business and demand, no. Due to the fact that the Shire has one minibus, taking passengers to connecting "mainline" bus routes. The first time I phoned the service this was not explained to me. I was expected to understand the system. Granted, Call Connect is an odd service name, but surely this is a little far fetched even for Lincolnshire? I grew up in the country and even I have never come across any method of public transport so absurd. What's more, you have to be a member to gain access to the service. Local services for local people. And no one else. No wonder people live on the same street for the entire of their lives. They can't get away.
'Twas a long weekend in the Shire.
Moon. xxx
* The aforementioned Spanish resort sounded like Polaris World. I trust you have seen the adverts. Next time it's on, count the number of edits in it. I love that ad! Polaris World makes better ads than do Specsavers. That current one is ridiculous!
In case you haven't seen Polaris World, you can meet its president here. Sadly youtube doesn't have the latest ad, which is much better than this one. But why shouldn't you pay for your property, a fair price?
As I was busy cat sitting this weekend, I decided to venture on a bus journey to the far away land of Lincoln. From the online timetables it would involve catching a couple of buses, which would take just under two hours (Lincoln is about 14 miles away). A small price to pay for some fresh air away from Glentham town.
So at the designated time (actually a good few minutes in advance) I set off in search of the local bus stop. I could think of a couple of likely candidate locations: the village hall, the pub... alas, no bus sign was to be seen. I asked a couple of locals, who were prettying up their gardens, for advice on buses. "Never seen a bus round 'ere", came the reply. Come to think of it, neither had I. I lingered around for a good twenty minutes then became frustrated (pretty angry actually) and returned home. There was no point in trying to call Traveline from my mobile: the Shire is the reception, as well as the transport and general merriment, abyss.
Several phone calls later (involving being given the number to some very strange Spanish holiday resort*) it transpired that the bus timetable was, in fact, a lie. No buses go through Glentham Town. After phoning Call Connect for the second time it was explained to me that in order for the minibus to pick you up, you have to phone up about a week in advance to see if the driver can fit you in to their schedule. Not because of business and demand, no. Due to the fact that the Shire has one minibus, taking passengers to connecting "mainline" bus routes. The first time I phoned the service this was not explained to me. I was expected to understand the system. Granted, Call Connect is an odd service name, but surely this is a little far fetched even for Lincolnshire? I grew up in the country and even I have never come across any method of public transport so absurd. What's more, you have to be a member to gain access to the service. Local services for local people. And no one else. No wonder people live on the same street for the entire of their lives. They can't get away.
'Twas a long weekend in the Shire.
Moon. xxx
* The aforementioned Spanish resort sounded like Polaris World. I trust you have seen the adverts. Next time it's on, count the number of edits in it. I love that ad! Polaris World makes better ads than do Specsavers. That current one is ridiculous!
In case you haven't seen Polaris World, you can meet its president here. Sadly youtube doesn't have the latest ad, which is much better than this one. But why shouldn't you pay for your property, a fair price?
posted by Moon @ 6:57 pm
7 Comments:
At 1:48 pm,
frankien said…
I thought my village was bad, but yours is clearly worse. I bet you dont even get the grimsby fish van.
At 9:22 pm,
Moon said…
No, but that's because if we book a week in advance to get the minibis to Rasen, we can get the train to Grimsby in a mere 30mins for the fresh fish. I did see an ice cream van in the village for the first time the other day. Was like rush hour. It didn't moo, though.
At 10:03 am,
Tombola said…
I wonder if you still get that 'ice cream'* van in Hyde Park? It played stuff like the Bond theme and that one from westerns that I don't know the name of. Hang on, I think you might mean the same one. It mooed as well.
* Inverted commas because it seemed to always come around after dark and I suspect did not just sell ice cream products.
At 6:58 pm,
Moon said…
Yes, that's the one! Sure it has played the A Team before as well. I had never heard its animal sounds until Munch pointed it out a couple of weeks ago. We both clearly heard the moo. Apparently it does a good chicken, too.
At 4:46 pm,
Moon said…
Routine checks of Stroppy Blog have discovered that the original link to the Polaris World ad is no longer usable. My apologies. The old ad can be found here instead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9OuHQU8hn8 . Two great things about this link are as follows:
1) it is labelled as, "polaris world president is a prick"
2) there is no need to bring the American guy into the ad at the end. Totally discontinuous!
At 6:40 am,
Lord G said…
Ha, good work again Moon. You've picked two of the adverts that drive me mad. Why does that girl pout all the time whilst wearing specs that clearly don't suit her? Why does the Spanish guru at Polaris World do that odd thing with his hands? Did he name his company after the north star, or a US nuclear ballistic missile system from the cold war?
At 8:30 am,
Moon said…
Lordie! How are things? Hope all well. Pleased you share my interest/displeasure in those ads. Pouty specs girl needs to smile a bit. You planning to be in t'north any time soon?
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